February 19, 2017
Characteristics of Solid Relationships
Selflessness
Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Proverbs 31:10-11
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
Ephesians 4:2-3
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Proverbs 17:17
17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Mark 12:30-31
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
These are all actions that you live out to enrich the lives of someone else. It’s not about what you get out of it!
1. What is Selflessness?
Having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc.
It goes a big step beyond: doing nice things for people and caring a lot about them. It is actually having little or no concern for oneself.
Caring:
- displaying kindness and concern for others
or
- the practice of looking after those unable to care for themselves
Selflessness really bleeds over into respect, love, and healthy communiation. If you don’t do those things selflessly,
you aren’t really doing them.
2. How Does God Show Us Selflessness?
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Genesis 32:22-30
22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[g] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
Because of Jacob's persistence, God gave in and even renamed him Isreal, which means, “God contended.” God was interested in what it meant for Jacob,
not himself
. God is always selfless with us, even though we don’t deserve it.
So what does that look like for us in every day life?
3a. Friendships
Mark 12:31
Love your neighbor as yourself
A selfless person is not looking to share their story from the day, but to hear someone else’s. If all of your conversations are about YOU, there’s an issue.
The question is,
how are you showing little or no concern for yourself
and instead showing concern for their lives?
3b. Professional Relationships
When you come in contact with them, are you treating them as equal to you, or are you taking advantage of the fact that they are there?
Know the people around you and go out of your way to bless them.
The question is,
how are you showing little or no concern for yourself
and instead showing concern for their lives?
3c. Family Relationships
In a family, being selfless means giving up our right to be right. It means you won’t get your way all the time.
The question is,
how are you showing little or no concern for yourself
and instead showing concern for their lives?
3d. Romantic Relationships
So much of being selfless in a romantic relationship is learning how your partner gives and receives love. The 5 Love Languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Is the way you want to give love
the same way they want to receive it?
When a marriage, or dating relationship is based on “what I get from it," it’s doomed to fail. Having a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is not about you being encouraged, loved and built up… it’s about you having the opportunity to encourage, love, and build up someone else.
Mark 12:30-31
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Our most important commandment in life is to love God with everything we have and love people and introduce them to God. Does your relationship encourage or hinder that mission?
The question is,
how are you showing little or no concern for yourself
and instead showing concern for their lives?
Communication Card
- I will work this week to be selfless: having little or no concern for myself.
- I will challenge myself to see the world through other people’s points of view.
- I will learn how to selflessly love people in my life.
