David Confiding Sin and Struggles
In 1st and 2nd Samuel, we follow the history of King David and we see him make a huge mistake where he sleeps with a married woman, and sets her husband up to be killed.
2 Samuel 11:27
But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.
2 Samuel 12:5-7, 9
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! ...
9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own.
At this point David is completely gutted by what he did and is so ashamed, but he also has to walk through the ramifications of his sin. But, David’s story ends well, because he genuinely repented with everything in him and at the end of his life, he said this:
1 Kings 1:29
As surely as the Lord lives, who has delivered me out of every trouble
Also, Nathan stayed with him and helped him pick up the pieces of his life.
- Nathan and David had a trusting relationship, and was there when God convicted David’s heart.
- Nathan said the truth in love, took a 3rd party stance in the situation and pointed him to God.
- David had to live with the consequences of his sin, and Nathan stuck with David as he worked through healing.
Be A Trustworthy and Encouraging person
Nathan and David had a trusting relationship, and was there when God convicted David’s heart.
Relational Equity -
The connection that happens between people, when they have spent time together and have selflessly served each other over time.
If no one is confiding their sin and struggles in you, it’s probably because no one sees you as a safe and encouraging place to go.
Nathan was a great example of this and was trusted and encouraging when David hit bottom and willingly confessed his sin. God spoke through Nathan and David took it well because they had the trust and Relational Equity to walk it through with him.
Proverbs 28:13
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Point Hurting People to Jesus
Nathan said the truth in love, took a 3rd party stance in the situation and pointed him to God.
When someone comes to share their sin and struggles with you, it's not about you. You’re essentially just there as a spectator, helping this person through the process.
John 20:23
23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”
This does NOT mean that we have the power to forgive sins as followers of Jesus, or even as ordained church leaders.
New American Commentary:
it is imperative to recognize that while Christians are involved in mission, it is God who ultimately does the forgiving… Thus one could say that Jesus’ followers are to make the Gospel so clear that it is evident where people stand on the nature of sin. When these texts are understood in this perspective, it should become clear that Jesus’ commission to his followers is not one of privileged judgment but of weighty responsibility to represent the will of God in Christ with extreme faithfulness and to be honest and authentic about their evaluations or judgments.
When someone confides in you what they’re struggling with it’s not your job to fix it… You can’t. Jesus can.
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
We are hard wired to share this hard stuff with each other, because God uses it to heal us:
James 5:16
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Stick with them through the process
David had to live with the consequences of his sin, and Nathan stuck with David as he worked through healing.
Sometimes when we confess sin and we just need to walk away from it, but sometimes there are serious ramifications for our sin and we need to pay a real price. If you are that person that someone chooses to confide in, pray with them that day and point them to Jesus, but also, it takes some followup to help them walk through consequences and walk into freedom.
James 4:8
8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
You also need to decide on your personal boundaries. There are simply some things that you should not be the one that people confide in, and you need to lead them to someone else.
There are also some situations where you are not the right person to walk with them long term to help them find healing.
It’s okay to say no, but it’s NOT okay to leave people high and dry. Get them connected with someone who can help and then if they decide not to do anything with that, that’s on them.
